The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. If you remember back once again to the bonus materials, there is a sentence variety chart that I gave you that I said you could use to variety of chart your sentence variety, what I've carried out in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence number of one of several body paragraphs. And you will see by looking at the differing kinds plus the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there's a lot of variety there. Additionally an advance is used by this essay vocabulary but it's not just advanced, it's used appropriately. So here the example is, 'Free tutoring does not aim in the middle for the problems schools that are facing a wider variety of classes does by livening fascination with school up until graduation.' Therefore we've just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance usage of vocabulary very good language that is commendable. These are typical the causes why this essay earned an 11 which will be in which you desire to ideally be scoring ten to 12 regarding the ACT writing.
Now why don't we take a look at sample essay number 2.
Go on and go right to the bonus materials and print it out. Again I'm going to focus on reading the initial paragraph but it really is going to be important you to follow along for you to have a hard copy on front of. Alright, that one starts with 'a problem that is major many high schools face is students failing continually to graduate, or dropping out before they will have the chance. High schools over the nation have attempted countless different programs and techniques to you will need to combat student's failure, some proving more productive than others. I think, offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because 'interest' promotes a desire to learn and remain in school, something that not only getting help can do.' and this one starts out quite similar to essay number one however if you noticed that one only scored a seven. So it's still when you look at the half that is top a far cry from the 11 that the first essay scored. Here we've got again an extremely strong position and comprehension of the job. This writer says 'offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting student success and merely offering tutoring that is free the attention promotes the desire to learn and stay in school.' Therefore we've got a situation, we have reason, in addition we have the introduction of a counter argument. You could already infer even when you haven't read the essay with this that this writer must not do a beneficial job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise they might have scored a lot higher on the essay. So solid 'task and position' let us see where it falls a little bit short.
'Complexity and development' alright this writer says, 'my school that is high really many students by providing peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. 'tutoring helps many who can be too frustrated I notice when I read this is the wording is a little bit confusing here and I'm not really sure what this is supposing because, honestly it's making tutoring sound like a really good thing that they cannot understand their classes and want to drop out.' Now the first thing. The career statement told me that this essay would definitely be arguing for a wider number of classes. Which means this may be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short is it doesn't completely dismiss the counter claim, the reader is left by it wondering exactly what is this person proving. In order that's the place that is first falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, 'Offering many courses ensures that students will still yet learn have some fun and become less stressed.' Now it is when you look at the body that is second and this may be the very first time that the writer has introduced this concept of 'having fun and becoming less stressed' and it's really really unclear where that links in to the position that 'a wider assortment of classes is much better for learning.' It focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it's style of predictable but that is why it scores a seven and never very up high on the scale which will be during the 11. This essay says 'In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who worry about students' success, offering extra-curricular programs to increase an active reference to the institution, having assemblies and events to promote school spirit and several other factors are typical essential in promoting success.' Now they are really ideas that are great definitely on topic, but one might expect to see these ideas introduced in the introduction after which followed through to into the essay. However once you know where this paragraph arises from is the conclusion and that's one of the big no, no's for that organization that is basic. You don't introduce ideas that are new the final outcome because all it does is serve to confuse your reader. These aren't something that you've mentioned and none of one's support relates to it. So this is excatly why this essay's score is a little bit lower in organization.
'Sentence structure and grammar.' Alright this essay says, 'Something that not merely getting help can do.' This might be among the lines that really stuck off to me in reality it's an element of the position statement which is those types of sentences that readers are actually focused in on, when you are given your thesis or your role, they want that it is clear. And this wording is really type of confusing, I'm not sure what things are referring to, what the something is and it is just a bit that is little. So again we have type of this awkward utilization of language which keeps this essay down in that mid range rather than shooting it as much as the higher range that displays a command for the language.
Alright the handful of pitfalls that this essay come across you want to make sure you avoid that we already have talked about and. This essay makes 'hasty generalizations' the line, 'only students with a desire to enhance can benefit from such a program.' That is a jump that is big. So that's saying basically if I give tutoring to everybody when they do not whole heartedly wish to be there they will flat out fail. And I believe that's a really big leap in flaw and logic. Moreover it gets a little bit wordy, 'The most crucial, though, is a student's want to learn and to succeed;' it simply goes on and on about this. Last but not least we talked about any of it 'basic organization' not only do we have variety of candid transitions like write my paper 'in addition' to and 'furthermore' but we talked concerning the introduction of the latest ideas when you look at the conclusion which really throws your reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap it all up the seven indicators that your readers will probably be searching for will be your 'understanding of the job,' the 'position' you take, the 'complexity' with which you talk about the issue, the 'development' or support you provide, the way you organized your thoughts and then the manner in which you deliver it along with your 'sentence and word choice' as well as your 'grammar.'
In this episode we've taken a review of two essays, both were solid they scored within the top half but clearly we come across why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now which you guys have the various tools plus the important information to attack the ACT writing section, I know you're going to do great.
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